Welcome To My Mind

Thanks For The Change

This is merely to vent

On why you're so important

You created forks in my road

I don't have to follow the path that's lonely and cold

I can do something with my life, you gave me goals

I see now that life isn't a trek up a greasy pole

You've encouraged me to do things I hide

To accept tears and not be swallowed in pride

You've given me dreams of holding your hands

But also realities of just liking the same band

Your mirrors are clouded, my glasses are clean

You say "I'm not beautiful", I ask "what do you mean?"

I can't lose you, I'll be with you till the end

I'll even suppress these feelings to just be your friend

You > Me

I cannot be selfish

For things I crave for I just wish

I aimed for stars and missed

Now I have nihilistic characteristics

No point beginning something to end in a frown

No point in looking forward to something so I look down

I feel weak but you're weak

So I have to be happy, my dams can't leak

Hopefully you'll catch my disease

And hear you laugh with a wheeze

Your smile makes my self-hate dissipate

Without it my mind's a Haitian quake

Your happiness makes my problems vanish like water on mascara

It's as if your smile whispered abracadabra

I am insignificant

While you're happy, I'm merely an ant

Just a grub in a tank of fish

I care too much about you. That's why I cannot be selfish

Untitled

Inhale… Exhale
I need an inhibitor, something better than ale
I’m plagued by the fear to fail
By a mother who has arguments where she always prevails
Does someone have a better life for sale?
My distance makes me feel like a cast away
or is it on a self-made island I stay?
They know not of my emotional fray
Or that I no longer call someone bae
Too many questions, the only answer is to pray
But they’re mere thoughts, so I just wait to hear “It’ll be okay”
I sit, thinking I’m nothing but a fat shame
Someone that your own father wouldn’t claim
And this very loneliness pushes me towards finding fame
Unfortunately I’m blind, I’ve no idea where to aim
I don’t think I’ll ever get good at this game
The game, the game of Life

Expectations Get The Best of Me

I'm sick with a belly ache
Feeling this pain was fate
Since I've starved myself of the truth
I shouldn't have made mistakes like this in my youth
I'm just a dog with my tail just out of my reach
Just small shells washing up on a beach
I tell myself it shouldn't happen
Yet my thoughts somehow get wrapped in
I'm lost in the desert
When will my mind revert
I don't want to forget the happy times
But I can't handle the toxic grime
I should consider moving on
And lay witness to a new dawn